Saturday, February 28, 2009

AZ prep

Vegan noms

Posted by ShoZu

I'm tired.

We sent out the S.O.S. call.
It was a quarter past four, in the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea. Four months of calm seas
To be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point.

They call 'em rogues. They travel fast and alone.
One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

The hole in the hull defied the crew’s attempts,
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio,
And half buried bow.

Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef.

The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my
Love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.

They say that the captain stays fast with the ship,
Through still and storm,
But this ain't the Dakota,
And the water's so cold,
We won't have to fight for long.

(This is the end.)
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
(This is the calm.)
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
(We are the risen.)
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
(After the storm.)
I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean,
(Rest in the sea.)
I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
(Washed up on the beach.)
You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.

This is the end.

You never do see any other way.

Friday, February 27, 2009

That's a wrap!

Goodbye Texas! I have two days off and then to the desert I go!

I. Can't. Wait.

This pretty well sums up how the night, and for that matter first unit, ended...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

last early morning shoot in Texas!

We spent today in a dirty (ok, filthy) little motel that was as representative of El Paso as Fort Worth can get. I relished every minute of it and every minute of the controversial, intenstly emotional subject matter of today's scenes. Major, major props to Juli Erickson who--in her seventies--had her first nude scene, had to convey a moment of horrible delision due to dementia and had to cry on the spot with no build up. She is an amazing actress and a cool, cool lady.

Tomorrow is our last day of filming in Texas and it's going to be a late one which means... I GET TO SLEEP IN! I fly to Arizona Sunday morning and production picks up out there on Monday. I'm excited to get out of Dallas and see the Arcosanti commune that we'll be based out of. I'll miss Bradley like crazy but it wont be so bad because I'll be working and know the terms of our separation.

Other than that I'm just happy. Happy to be alive, happy with myself, happy that I'm pursuing my passion, happy to be writing, happy to have a beautiful, brilliant, healthy son. Happy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Nothing new to share, just putting a face with all the updates.

Monday, February 23, 2009

i have only myself to blame

Today my son was written up for the following:

1. Playing lightsabers

2. Making armpit farts

3. Arguing with his teacher that their assignment was for "stupid people"

Is it wrong that I find this amusing?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

An update on Natalie from Aunt Sue:

It looks like Natalie will need neurosurgery after all. The skull fracture fragmentation indented INTO the skull. So now that it started to heal closed, the proximity to her brain is narrowing. The chances of the fragmentation damaging her brain is just too great so it needs to be done quickly. They will do another CT scan tomorrow and by Tuesday should have a plan in place to proceed.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

a frustrating but fun day

PROOF that I am doing so much better and chilling out...

Today was super stressful. It was cold, we had trouble rigging the camera, the city of Waxahachie was very kind to us but we sort of terrorized them, I had to get loud with some cowboys...

And THEN we lost daylight and production was delayed.


However, I found myself laughing, feeling at ease and being in general good spirits pretty much the whole time. It feels so good to be over things that once seemed so heavy.

I also TurboJammed tonight and am going to hate life tomorrow. I'm already sore.

I got some sweet festival screeners and can't wait to check them out.

Oh and I got us some Waxahachie daily press. lol

The end.

Monday, February 16, 2009


the biopsy results came back all clear. everything's benign, nothing to worry about, just keep watching and make sure it stays in check. i'm a (relatively) healthy girl.

today i was the follow car

for the driving scenes. we hooked the beautiful lady Red up and i went around behind with my hazards on making sure all was safe. thankfully there were no scares, although i did have to jump out of the car and chase after tom's (the director) script that he left on the roof of the white car. but seriously, how scary is it to see that amazing camera strapped to the side of a car?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

pulling an all-nighter

Last night the CA crew pulled our first all-nighter. I wasn't much of a help other than driving my car up and down the crazy hill and into the garage, narrowly missing equipment and PAs. It took several takes to get it right because it's the most ridiculous driveway ever and my car is noisy and clumsy (kinda like me). I felt really bad for Gabe, the actor trying to stay in character while riding shotgun. Also, the art department scraped off my beloved red index sticker in the process of cleaning the filthy Lexus and I was so sad. It holds a very special place in my heart and they didn't even ask if they could take it off.

I'm home now, with the gnarliest circles EVER under my eyes and a massive to-do list haunting me... but suddenly working all night on Valentines Day and losing my sentimental sticker doesn't seem so bad. All this soul searching and reflecting I've done lately has put me at ease. Everything's cool. Things happen the
way they do and you learn from them and move forward. The things and people that matter will always be there and when you're ready, you'll find them.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

reflecting on the hour at which time becomes irrelevant

under eves in silence
sitting waiting idle hearts
13 months friday 13
a line graph
business ebbs and flows
tilted heart monitor
at first novocain
then fire
twelve months to the day
useless resurgence
hapless roses
reborn film noir
chaotic chords and rhythm
stolen glimpses never shared
dancing on the floor
retreat reluctantly
over mourn

the inside of this card says...

"Roses are red, fans are windy, Mom's the best!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

I am both vegan and Texan

James Johnston of Spiral Diner is also a filmmaker and just so happens to be co-producing this here film I'm working on. And also just so happens to be my new favorite person in the world.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Day 4 of Principle Photography


Oh, I'm sorry, that was just my head hitting my keyboard. I am soooo tired!
As alluded to before, I am now Personal Assistant to the Director (heck yeah, caps) of CARRIED AWAY and Unit Publicist for the film. It's a lot of work and my schedule just went from flexible to retarded. Peace out, social life.
However, my pockets just went from empty to full and it's already been a major learning experience (though I do have to say I was lusting after that Red and those kinos today... lucky camera department dudes).

I was hoping to sneak away and have a super awesome Valentines Day but we're supposed to pull a 7p-7a allnighter. It's a stupid holiday anyway, right?
I can't think of anything to post about that would be of any interest other than my most sincere apologies for disappearing for five weeks... actually more because I'll still be working on DIRTY RED once this one wraps. Eek.

On a personal note, my phone isn't working. I'm super sorry if I've ignored your calls/texts or not gotten back to you. IPhone by the weekend? Poss-o-bly. Also, I did order my SMOKIN' DRESSSSS... more on that and photos once it arrives. I'm gonna make for some nice arm candy on AFI DALLAS opening night. One should be so lucky.
One last thing. I know this is a (super) personal blog but since production runs my life at the moment anyway, here's a little site about our project and the humble askings for help.
If you know of people with extra money laying around who like supporting the arts or think local filmmaking is rad... haha! No, I'm just sharing because it's all we've got right now and I'm trying to keep you all plugged-in to what I'm doing. The official website and Facebook group will be coming along soon. Um... photos coming Saturday... Yep, I think that's it.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

back in the game

Today was my first day on the CARRIED AWAY set. It's a feature directed by Tom Huckabee and crewed by a bunch of awesome people that I have worked with before and a bunch of people that seem equally rad that I met for the first time today.

I spent my time today in the production "office" rather than down by the camera, which was weird for me. I've never finished a day on set and not been sweaty and worn out. Still, it was cool to see the inner workings, if you will. I did PA stuff for the locations department (dusting off my PR skills) and the UPM, and some basic PA lifting/carrying/tidying/drink fetching.

The buzz is that I'll be moving to a new, much more intense position soon... but more on that as it develops.

While we're on the topic... MURDER BY MISTAKE, the short I worked on in August, is being submitted to festivals but I still haven't seen it. Some of that crew is working on CARRIED, which is cool. Also, principle photography for DIRTY RED, the other feature I'm going to try to balance over the next couple months starts soon.

I can't believe how busy I am all the sudden!

No word on the grad school admissions just yet. Still trying to figure out how I'll pay for it and praying for Oprah to sponsor me.

Update on Natalie: she's responsive and even walked around a little bit. It's a freaking miracle really. I don't know how she made it through that.

And finally, I'm going to be meeting my dad soon! I don't know how I'll swing it now with the crazy work schedule but the tickets are booked and it's happening. How awesome is that???

My friends are really quite incredible...

even when I am at my most moody and disagreeable. Thank you Bonnie, Ashley, Missy, Kerie, Jay, MacLennan and Patrick for listening to me for hours on end, standing by side, hugging me tightly, offering me vodka, beating down my door with fro yo in hand, sending me cards, blowing up my phone, writing sweet emails, making me laugh, sharing a one person sleeping bag with me and refusing to take "I'm in hiding" for an answer these past few weeks.

I am constantly amazed by and thankful for the abundance of LOVE in my life.

Monday, February 9, 2009

If you're the praying type...

My cousin Duane's family was on a ski trip in New Mexico when his daughter Natalie was in a terrible accident. She fell off a bluff and hit a tree, and had to be airlifted to the hospital. She is finally responsive but has some serious head injuries, blood on her brain and other internal bleeding. Last I heard she was going in for surgery. Natalie is only a year and a half older than Bradley and she's tiny. I can only imagine what an accident like this must have done to her little body. Please send your prayers and positive thoughts to New Mexico.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

my son has disowned me

for sending him to bed at 4 p.m.sorry, but when you yell at me you get what's coming.

Today I took the GRE

I got violent tummy sickness in the middle of it. Not good. But I suppose I did okayish. I absolutely killed the two essays. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a really high score on them. I did about as expected on the math except I got cut off before the last two questions. I was practicing deep breathing and mind-over-tummy control for much of it. I'm not good at math anyway, so I'm not sure that I did much worse than I would have otherwise. The rest of it... who knows. Much of it was quite easy, there were a couple things I was iffy on. Mostly I just wanted to finish so I could expel the evil from my body. I'm glad it's over. Now at least that's done and I can panic about everything else.

Grad school... here I come?