Friday, July 24, 2009

This is high school Brittan.

Photobucket
Photobucket
She looks about the same as 24-year-old Brittan, except her glasses are cuter and she has completely banging calf muscles. She loves the color red and Sunkist, doesn't wear makeup (except on New Years Eve as you can see in the picture) and has lots of friends. She listens almost exclusively to punk music except that she loves Hanson with all her heart. She crushes on skateboarder boys and doesn't care if they laugh that she likes Hanson and is kind of a prude. She just made Varsity cheerleader and competes on a co-ed team outside of school. She doesn't listen to the warnings people give her about the crowd that the cheerleaders at school run with because she isn't interested in any crowd. She wants the workout, the bruises on her arms, the tumbling, the rush of knowing she can lift another girl over her head with almost no help. She lives for Wednesday night lyrical class, when she can take her shoes off and dance barefoot to Fiona Apple in a dark room. It doesn't matter to her anymore that she is not as skinny as some of the girls or as good at memorizing steps because it makes her feel alive like nothing else can. She writes funny stories, makes good grades and can speak enough French to not need subtitles, though it seems like she never does her homework. She lives alone with her grandma where they eat whatever they feel like throwing together and love each other despite the fact that they don't understand each other at all. Mostly she's alone and she likes it that way. She has read the Complete Works of William Shakespeare so many times that the library gave her the book. Every night she puts on a mixtape and dances madly in her living room to work through her anger with her mom and other feelings that she doesn't understand. When she can't sleep at night she watches Romeo + Juliet. She writes letters to her best friend in Colorado. Her weekends are spent watching Evita and eating pizza with her grandma, toilet papering boys houses during sleepovers and swing dancing. She's obsessed with the 40s and tries to learn how to sew just so she can make vintage-style dresses to dance in. She still has sleepovers with Wendy, who she has known since birth, where they watch musicals and eat black olives from the can. She loves the improv game Bus Stop that she plays at drama club and is the youngest member inducted into Thespian Society at her high school. She has a black cat named Samantha who she is completely in love with and she writes about Cory's smile in her diary. She could not fathom that very soon her life would change completely. That before she knew it her circle of friends, relationship with her family, passion for dance, extracurricular activities and self esteem would completely change. She didn't know how easy it was to fall off the path and not be able to find your way back. At this moment where you are seeing her, she knows who she is and loves herself. She feels invincible.

2 comments:

  1. Nothing make me more nostalgic for our youth than remembering 3-D Doritos.

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  2. Beautiful. Seriously, thank you for your blog.

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