Sunday, October 4, 2009


tonight i'm thinking about falling in love. i'm thinking about how romantic my apartment feels now, and how nice it is to type away at a shiny white desk with soft light thrown across my fingertips. everywhere i look i see something that i love, something that defines me in some little way. i chatted with b for a long time tonight. he played the chords he's learned for me and told me all about harry potter (he finished the first book in one day). i gave him ideas for making friends at school and he actually listened to them. i felt like a mother. my mom told me in her own way that she is proud of me and believes in me. she talked to me about her twenties and sang my son to sleep with the same song she used to sing to me. it was sad to see her off. i'm thinking about the first weekend of october and how i usually spend it in utah. i always saw utah and new york as the two sides of my gemini self. i find it hard to believe at times that i am living in one of those cities and thinking about the other. i miss jamie, missy, jesse and katie. i miss riding horses and kissing as the snow fell. i'm thinking about a new man who is handsome and french, and my new friends and the snow that will fall here in new york. i'm thinking about the wonderful people i've known, my friends at the observer. kerie and jay. j, gg, c, a, g. texas. my strange home that never really felt like home. i'm thinking about this paper i don't want to write and how i would rather watch moulin rouge and spend the rest of the night basking in my shameless romantic notions. right now i think i will sleep so i can get up early and make breakfast and fix my hair. new york has made me want to try harder, do more and be more interesting. sometimes that starts with pancakes and a brush.


  1. That's a good place to start and I think you're on you're way!!

  2. i really really missed you this weekend. i kept feeling like you should be watching conference with me. and i especially missed you when the priesthood session let out.. :)