Monday, January 11, 2010

The Good:

I promised I would think of some positive things but then Rohmer died, what did you expect me to do. Okay, here we go.

1. B gets to play sports, play outside with the kids across the street and live comfortably. I am taking comfort in the thought of grass-stained jeans and his head hitting the pillow every night completely exhausted from so much playing. He'll get to go back to piano lessons (which he loves), go camping (which I can't understand why he loves) and not feel stressed.

2. It has occurred to me over the past two torturously long days that I have never been an adult without B. I don't know what to do with myself, how to operate. I have become uptight, stressed and constantly rushed because that's what my life has been and even when it doesn't need to be, I make it that way. I suppose because that's all I've known. Maybe this will be a chance for me to learn how to be 24 and figure out my identity outside of being a mom. I honestly feel like this is my year. This is my year to learn from my mistakes, calm down and become a more secure person. This is my year to figure out how to make my relationship work and become a better mom/family member/friend by becoming a better, more confident person.

3. B can play hockey, which he's wanted to do but I could never afford.

4. I can not get kicked out of my program.

In every situation there is good to be found.

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