Saturday, June 26, 2010


that is diamond head.
and this is where i live.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

tonight on so you think you can dance

tessandra chavez choreographed a dance about domestic violence
lauren and dominic went to really dark places to bring it to life
i sat alone in my living room, body covered in goosebumps
i remember seven years ago
when i danced the issue out for myself
alone in my living room, body covered in goosebumps

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Happy Fathers' Day/First Full Day of Being 25

(This is late because I didn't have internet but just pretend...)
Hi Dad! Happy you day from us in Hawaii!

I spent my first full day as a 25-year-old (who still feels like a 13-year-old) at the beach with Emily and her roommate being awesome, taking fancy iphone pictures and getting this weird thing called a tan.
She is way more iphone photogenic than I am. So are the palm trees.

Then we went to dinner where I was way over dressed (as usual) and went totally craycray with the carbs (as usual). It felt so good.

And then, just as I was getting ready to end my self-indulgent birthday frenzy, we walked past a Betsey Johnson boutique. Things got out of control.
OMG. Just looking at those pictures fills me with a confusing combination of elation and regret. I love you Betsey. To the parents... I am so sorry that I introduced Emily to Betsey Johnson. Things may never be the same. In conclusion: harmful UV rays, swimming far out into the ocean, wearing a bright red dress to a casual dinner, eating my weight in bread/pasta/cake, Betsey Johnson. Sounds like a good birthday to me!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Friday, June 18, 2010

show me what you're workin' with

Here it is, folks. The whole reason I'm in Hawaii:
Exciting, right?!?!?!

Well, it's my life for the next seven weeks anyway.
In those boxes are 1", 2", 3/4" U-matic, Betacam, VHS and a little 16mm.
All video (and a little film) of labor and education-based documentaries on Hawaiian history. My job is basically to inspect and catalog it and write a preservation plan and grant proposals so that the work can be done to keep it from being lost. This material is all unique and very important to Hawaiian history. I feel like I'm playing an important role in this and want to do my very best. I just found out that I'll be working from home half of the time, writing and researching. I'm kind of stoked on this because I finally found the perfect temporary home in Honolulu. It's a 1 bedroom/1 bath/2 story condo with everything I need and views of Diamond Head (which I've not seen yet but hear is mega pretty). I'm still looking for a Vespa or scooter of some kind to get me around the island, and for something to do for my birthday tomorrow.

 Other tidbits: B called me yesterday and was like "hey mom..." and launched into Paul Revere (Beastie Boys duh) and sang the entire thing word for word. In that moment I wasn't sure if I was the best or worst parent ever (I am the one who loaded his iPod), but I lol'd and texted everyone I thought would care anyway.

Also, I got an email that my Hanson package shipped today and it made me almost too happy. The thought of Hanson on vinyl makes me want to dedicate an entire post to them but I am trying to restrain myself.

On a personal note, I think I am officially a grown up. This is odd because I still have to fight back laughter in professional meetings (as evidenced yesterday) any time a sentence could possibly be construed as dirty. I still whine sometimes and have the urge to wrestle or tickle fight someone almost daily. I still love Hanson. I still somehow believe in things that my brain tells me I shouldn't believe in and there is a Care Bear staring at me right now. BUT. I have started trying to do things that I don't want to do because they are the right thing to do. I've started trying to control my emotions without hiding them and thinking more about how I can maturely make things right rather than just making myself feel better. I don't know... I sort of feel like a new person. 

This has been a random post anyway, so I leave you with a picture of my new most favorite lunch of all time. Whole wheat bread with provolone, tofurky, butter leaf lettuce, sprouts, finely chopped black olives and oregano + firm red grapes and the best pineapple in the whole world. Also a picture of me on the beach pre-epic butt sunburn. Aloha!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

hi from HI!

welp, i'm here and un-jet-lagged. i only have an unloaded film camera at the moment so the iphone is going to have to cut it for now. i'm staying with my sister until i can find housing. this is my first time meeting her and it's pretty rad. she is super smart and talented, and looks like me. pictures soon!

so far i've managed to drink slurpees, find a vegetarian grocery store, eat the best pineapple i've ever had in my entire life and lay around the beach hoping to take the edge off my white girl glow. my internship starts next week and my birthday is this saturday, so i'm trying to plan an awesome weekend for myself. if you've been to oahu and have any tips, please share! 
more soon.


please enjoy this slideshow of the best birthday party ever.

Friday, June 11, 2010

best friends

i miss you guys.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


b tested for the LEAP program today. if he gets through all three rounds of testing (this was #2) he will go to a different school for third grade and be in a special class with the brightest third graders in the district. it's a huge opportunity for him and he did amazingly well today. a couple school district officials worked with him for three hours and came back assuring me that i had an incredible kid on my hands and had done a great job. he got up to an eighth grade GT level on the test before they cut him off, which just blows my mind. i'm so proud of him. the struggles of parenting a smart kid are so worth it when you see them realize their potential and feel proud of themselves.

the wizarding world of harry potter was amazing (as you might gather from the pictures) except that the park was only open for two hours a day. we were very angry with universal and i did my fair share of letting people know. we decided to come back early but still managed to have a great time and, really, the butter beer made it all worth it.

i don't really know what i'm doing with my life. i leave monday for an internship in hawaii that i'm dreading. i realize that this makes me sound like an ungrateful twit, but i don't want to be alone all summer. what i really want is to quit everything i'm doing right now, scoop up my son, run away to colorado and let my soul be healed by long talks, slow walks and just being with bonnie. when we get down to it, the things that really matter are the people who love us unconditionally, right? not career or accomplishment or money or image, just love. real love is so hard to come by but there is b and there is bonnie, and that is all i want right now. i have dreams of my own, sure, but i don't even know if i could realize them in the state i'm in right now. i need to make things right. blarg. will contemplate further before making any rash decisions.

i was planning on watching a screener of the radiant child last night but ended up watching hockey and get him to the greek instead. hockey was exciting but i would have preferred jean-michel basquiat to not-up-to-par apatow. which reminds me, have any of you watched varda films like i told you to? let's watch some together and let the mama of the new wave make everything better, what do you say?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Breakfast at the Three Broomsticks with pumpkin juice (yum)!

Hog's Head




Care of Magical Creatures

Chocolate Frogs

(it is impossible for him to not make ridiculous faces/us to take cute pictures together)

Lots of British people, everything you could ever want to see from the books and movies, ten glasses of butter beer between the two of us... if only we could have had more time there!

Sunday, June 6, 2010


My best friend wrote a simple, beautiful blog post about her day, and this part grabbed me by the guts...
And for over an hour, I laid on my back patio with Taos laying next to me, and I watched the airplanes fly by, and listened to my Britt. Soaking up every word she was saying, loving the fact that we were spilling our guts out. Hoping that she could feel my love for her. Wishing we weren't always thousands of miles away.
I wish that all the time. It has been three years since I've seen her face, felt her hug or experienced her feisty, Salvadorian attitude. So much has happened. I miss my other half.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Cinemawesomeness 101: Agnès the Great

I've talked about Agnès Varda quite a bit on this blog. I was introduced to her films when I was 15 and it changed the way I watched movies and the kinds of movies I watch. She showed me that cinema can be a very personal, female experience. She is, in a very real way, responsible for the path my life has taken and the things that I'm passionate about. It's because of her that I'm in New York learning to keep films alive. She made some of the first films of the French New Wave, not as one of the Cahiers du Cinema but as an untrained rogue, and she did it with love and purpose. It was never to make a statement or make money, but always out of a very tender desire to share a story or a portrait of someone. I love her. She is funny and brave and magical to watch. Working at MoMA, I got to talk to people who know her well and learn more about her move from narratives to documentaries to installation art. I somehow continue to gain even more respect for her. The Auteurs has put most of her films up on their site, and I beg you to give them a try. Here are some of her biggest films in the order in which I saw them:

1. Vagabond (1985)
This was the one that got me and is still my favorite.

Her first film. Very clear that she was a photographer learning to use a movie camera. Unassumingly set the tone for the French New Wave. Some of the shots will knock you off your feet.

Her classic. A beautiful film. I usually tell people to start here because it's very accessible and very Agnès.

The first documentary of her's that I ever saw. Opened my eyes in many ways.
A summary of her life. You will cry. And laugh. And laugh while crying.

And finally, you can watch Les Fiances du Pont MacDonald, a short film that Cleo watches in Cléo from 5 to 7, for free on YouTube. It's the cutest.