Sunday, September 12, 2010

"We may not make it out alive. What does it matter?"

Things are a little weird. I haven't really had a chance to settle in. Life is a bit up in the air. I want to post but I can't find the energy to share much right now. I suppose that's why my blog has been so boring lately. I haven't been trying very hard... but I guess we all need some time to be introspective and quiet every now and then. I'll bring you up to speed on the good stuff... how's that?

Classes have started and they are as challenging and exciting as ever. I'm turning in my thesis proposal next week and will post it here if it goes over well. I've also been writing obsessively lately. Screenplays and random things. There are always words flying through my head these days and I rush to get them down before they're gone. I've always narrated my life in my head since I was little, and I guess it finally occurred to me to start writing it verbatim. I think it might even be good. I feel like my brain is in top form and ready to tackle this semester. I have a summer in Hawaii and a new appreciation for every second I get with B to thank for that.

I also got to meet the new first year students in MIAP (my grad program at NYU). They are a bigger and possibly more experienced class than my sweet little seven person group, but they are interesting and full of big personalities. We went out (carrying on the MIAP Whiskey Wednesday tradition) to get to know each other and pass on advice, and had some passionate discussion about film preservation in the process. The epitome of hip, I know. It really was cool to hear the stories that brought them to the program and how passionate they are about our weird little line of work. It takes a certain type of person to care enough about preserving films that they seek out and make it through our program.

Then I got to go to a free Hanson concert, and you know how I love them! They played a shortened set but it was the first time I've seen them play with the full horns section (those old dudes behind Taylor) that's all over their new album, and it was so fun! I had a good old time just dancing by myself in the middle of the crowded Roseland Ballroom and being filled with happiness. (Seriously, just listen to the new album. It is impossible to listen to it and not be happy.)
(photo via

Even after all the newfound academic enthusiasm, friend making and Hanson joy, I still feel the funk of an unsettled life. (Isn't hanging up your tea cups, throwing out boxes, making your bed with fresh sheets and cooking your first meal in a new apartment so satisfying? I'm longing for that.) So I've been going out looking for it and finding it in places that are probably dumb, but I feel like talking about anyway because... why not focus on the happy things even if they are a bit superficial, right?

The Whole Foods at Columbus Circle, for example.
It's a pretty part of town, full of pretty people and the Whole Foods is big and pristine. I went on a calm night and just roamed around looking at things, finding the freshest loaf of bread and stocking up at the olive bar. I remembered how much B loved it when the funny automated voice told you to go to register 9 ("NOOOINE"), and laughed to myself thinking about all the times we waited in line at our Chelsea Whole Foods, crossing our fingers that 9 would land on us.

Also my hoodie. Which is the softest, warmest and most perfect shade of my most favorite color. The crisp of Fall is cutting through the muggy, smelly NYC summer air and giving me the butterflies I get every year around this time. I live for October through December. Like, I honestly don't know if there would be a point to life if we did not get a few months of hoodies, scarves, extra calories and holidays. It gives me faith in the cycle of life. If the world really does end in December of 2012, I will be okay with that because it will have ended on a good note. It's really hard to not be at least a little bit excited when you pull a zipper up to your chin for the first time after summer.

So, yeah, there is lots of happiness out there, isn't there? Just typing this made me happy. I continue my eternal search for a home, or at least for consistency and establishment, but maybe now through more positive eyes.


  1. Hanson!!! I love them. I think they're coming in concert here soon, I definitely need to go.

  2. You have no idea how jealous I still am that you're in New York, ESPECIALLY now that the seasons are changing. Perhaps I can come visit you again...hmmmmmmm