Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I had to talk him down last night. He's convinced his brain is broken and there's no hope for him. He peaked intellectually in 2nd grade and now it's all down hill. He cried and cried, saying he's lost his creative drive and isn't himself anymore. He thinks he needs to see a doctor who will teach him to be smart and creative again. I told him he hasn't changed but when life gets stressful and our brains have to think about so many big things, it becomes harder to focus. He didn't buy it. I told him to enjoy himself and be a kid and we would fix his brain when I'm back in Texas. Everything is okay when we're together because, frankly, I get him. Right now I'm reveling in life's little complexities. I'm really interested in the human qualities that connect us, especially to the people we're related to either biologically or, I don't know, metaphysically? Transcendentally? Drifting apart from and back to your closest friend, falling in love with a stranger, understanding another person in ways that can't be articulated. B's little meltdown has got me thinking about the things we unintentionally pass on to the people around us and the power we have to profoundly affect each others' lives. It's terrifying and awesome. Maybe it will help me be a better mother (...daughter, sister, friend, soul mate...) I guess all I'm saying is... I'm embracing it.

(Picture by Bonnie, of course.)


  1. Gosh he looks just like you.

  2. First off, that is one crazy beautiful picture.

    This is so interesting and beautiful Brittan. I know it happens already, but it would be scary to see it in your own child- how much we effect other people around us. Insane that your son is feeling this. He's so young! What a genius. i'm so glad he's feeling that though. Is that seriously not the coolest thing? Thats cool that he can identify this or at least interpret some sort of anxiety to do with his lack of creativity.

    There are so many things I love about this, he's awesome. You are too cool of a mum.

  3. this post is miraculous--lovely in every possible way--in how brilliant the thinking is.

    fear not about book club (though i was so hoping to see you there {finally meet}) next month, you'll come? it was actually quite fun and i can't wait to see it continue and grow and change.

    please, please feel better and when you do, can we get coffee? maybe you could show me around brooklyn?!