Sunday, July 17, 2011

This week...

I was going to see a Cubism exhibit at the Modern.

I was going to eat raw.

I was going to see one of my best friends and help him move.

I was going to go to the Modern Dance Film Festival and finally see a film I've been dying to see for a year.

I was going to cap the week off with a vegan meal at Spiral Diner, my favorite restaurant.

I was going to spend time with my friends James and Amy.


I spent my week never catching up on work.

I haven't seen Taso other than at Harry Potter, much less any of my other friends.

I spent my weekend taking care of a stomach-sick boy.

I cleaned up throw up for hours on end.

I haven't slept in three days.

I am not in the best of spirits. I have this picture of the life I would like, you see. It's not very complicated but it involves being able to follow through with plans and have friends. There is a little more sleep, a lot more leaving the house, a space of my own and a modest living with which to pay bills and afford gas. I am pretty sure if I had these I would be better equipped to handle things like stomach bugs that keep my son up all weekend. I feel like I'm constantly apologizing anymore. "I'm sorry I can't get away, I can't hang out, this or that came up and I have to cancel. Sorry I'm distracted/stressed out/grumpy..."

So, okay. It's a new week and I'm going to recommit myself to not sucking, even though sometimes life sucks.

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