Monday, December 12, 2011

Radvent Day 12: Creating

I want to create something.

The power to create is what makes us human, and what makes being human worth all the other less awesome stuff. Deep, right? I wish I could come up with a more eloquent way to say that because I do think it's true. Sorry, I've had a hard time getting these last few blog posts out. My brain is swimming and my days fly by before I have a second to stop and reflect. I'm working a temp job as an executive assistant and it's everything you probably know or imagine that position to be. I feel like I've worked dozens of this job. Anyhow, I don't feel very creative, even in the non-artistic sense, lately. I don't feel like I'm really doing much.

I started to write a long blog post where I muse on and on about creating, but it felt dry and inauthentic. That's not where I am right now, and that's okay. Here's what I do have... some thoughts on how money and creation go hand in hand. 

Thought #1: If I could find a way to make even the most modest salary to work solely on my theater project, I know I could make it happen in a reasonable amount of time. So, where do I find that money? Is that a thing that happens? Do people get a years salary to start a business or work on a project of this type? Seriously, if you know the answers to these questions, hit me up. It's painful sitting on a great idea because you don't have the funds to see it happen.

Thought #2: While that excuse is 100% valid for the theater project, it's nothing more than an excuse when it comes to making a film. People make films with no budgets all the time. The truth is, I don't know where to start and I'm afraid of failing (again) so I keep putting off the screenplay and the phone calls and the figuring out where to get a camera. It's a shame because when I set my mind to something I'm usually pretty good at making it happen. Maybe it's time to downsize my other commitments a little bit so I have some room to focus on this one. If I at least write and conceptualize something, and it's good, I think the resources will appear.

Thought #3: Having no skrilla IS a blessing in disguise during the holidays. It's forcing me to make my own Christmas gifts which, it turns out, is really fun. I don't if you know this about me, but I gift give like it's my JAWB. I love it and I'm good at it. Just ask Taso about his Control poster, or my #apt2b roomies about their whiskey fudge and motorcycle club shirts. This year I'm making almost all of my presents (I did buy most of B's stuff, but I've been buying it little by little since August). Here's a sneak peek:
Weird, right?  I'll take pictures of the finished products when they're all ready to go.

Anyway, this is me: needing to work a little harder, needing a little help, and trying to create something out of nothing.

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