Thursday, December 22, 2011

Radvent Day 22: Promises


I love what Megan (Princess Lasertron) said:

"Promises kept are one of the truest expressions of love because keeping a promise is a responsibility. It takes unfailing devotion and commitment. “I love you” is a promise. “I won’t give up” is a promise."

When I decided to keep and raise B, I learned what a promise is, what it means to keep your word and that being true, faithful, dependable -- whatever you want to call being someone who doesn't break promises -- is one of the most crucial, rewarding characteristics (or habits) that we can develop. Our road has been long and difficult, but we're close and we're making it. Sometimes he's angry about his life, about what we don't have or what I'm not able to give him, and I feel terrible. Sometimes I entertain the idea of regrets, but I never really have them. I remind myself that I have to keep perspective. Everyone has their challenges to overcome, and it's my responsibility to give him the best I can with what I have. That and to love him unconditionally. That's what I promised him, and continue to promise him every day.

I can't wait to make vows to Taso. I feel like it will solidify the promises I've already made, and it will give me an opportunity to make new promises to B. And for Taso to make promises to both of us. There's nothing more beautiful that I can think of. I've been really emotional for the last few days, since Taso got back from New York, I guess. It was always going to be hard for me to come back and settle here. I knew that, and Taso coming back really closed the door on New York for us. At the same time, having the three of us together has been a long time coming, and it's overwhelmingly happy. The reality of what we're doing and the life we're going to have it sinking in and my cup runs over. My personal inner conflict seems silly and fades to the background of my consciousness. There are promises to keep and trust to rebuild. I am nothing if not grateful for the chance to make them and receive them.

I just wanted to share this picture. My dude got glasses and hates them. Poor child, cursed with his mother's eyesight. 

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