Saturday, March 17, 2012

footprint

I've been playing around on this blog for several years now, not to mention jumping into and out of social networking sites since the late 90s, and I've only just now started thinking about possibly taking it a little more seriously... maybe. I'm not talking about becoming a Super Networker or selling ad space on my blog so the 50 or so people who read it can make me a couple bucks. As much as I may joke about it, I don't actually want to become Internet famous or have any delusion that my online footprint could help my career (at this point). I just want to get organized and try a little harder to be relevant and have a purpose.  

I have about a thousand bookmarks and there are always multiple tabs open in my browser. There are starred tweets, liked pins and Amazon wishlists (just to remind me what books I want to find and read next) that I haven't looked at in months. It's getting a bit ridiculous... and I don't even have a Facebook (happily deactivated since 2008)! In the meantime, I neglect this blog -- meant to be a place where I publish my thoughts, feelings, moments and photos for the purpose of personal preservation and connection to my family and friends -- and I put off the real writing I want to do and should be doing. With all of the opportunity it provides, why do I use the Internet so inefficiently? For that matter, am I doing anything to contribute to a cause greater than myself? 

Let me derail for a moment: I read all of these insanely condescending articles written about Millennials (particularly educated, middle class 20/30-somethings living with their parents and not giving a cuss about the world outside their self-absorbed bubble) and I feel a combo of anger, extreme eye rolling, amusement (lol, old people), guilt and self-loathing. I think any article written about a particular demographic by someone not in that demographic is kind of pointless, but I also know that 90% of what I write -- and what I do with my time in front of this screen -- is too, so... I don't have much room to be cranky, do I? I'm feeling an increasing sense of panic as the world seemingly slides into chaos. Women are under attack in this country, the world's problems rage on and people seem to talk more about them but actually do less, the planet is hot and volatile, trashy reality TV is a thing... I guess I just want to be conscious of what I'm contributing to and not contributing to, and take a little more accountability for the part of my life that has made its way to the vast everywhere that is the Internet. 

I'm going to blog more often and more meaningfully here to keep my own record. I'm also toying with a more professional (though still personally-motivated) blog and am just looking for the right place to host it. My thesis turned into a passion project that has kept me up many a night and spiraled into this thing that I can't stop talking about. The topic of the film industry's conversion from film to digital, and the impact it's having on archives, art house theaters and film studies is constantly changing and my thesis (completed less than a year ago) is already way outdated. I find all of this endlessly interesting, and often very stressful, and I think a blog would be a more useful place to keep my opinions than, oh, say, the inboxes of everyone I've ever met... David Bordwell wrote this amazing blog post that sums up my thesis plain and simple, without all the half-page-long footnotes and trailing off into incoherence. My friend Moya writes brilliant stuff like this amidst being a professor and writing books. And I feel lazy. So, yes, I'm going to try to be more disciplined and actually have something to say, whether it's an on-time post about my son's birthday party or a thought-out manifesto on the shortsightedness of Virtual Print Fees. I also want to write about the movies I've been watching.

I'll be honest, I have no idea where to start when it comes to actually being useful, you know, in the world... but maybe I can at least be slightly less useless. I'm thinking more about what I read, watch and what sites I join. There is so much irresponsibility on the Internet (there are 100 stories I want to link to right now and I can't narrow it down, but you know what I'm talking about anyway) and, yeah, maybe by sticking to my personal life and the topics I actually know about I'm not really taking great strides to make a difference, but maybe if I try a little harder I can be sure I'm not a part of it. Besides, why do anything without a purpose, a plan and commitment, right? I make no promises about cleaning up my sentence structure.

More soon.

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