Saturday, July 28, 2012

When words fail.

I had several blog posts drafted when I woke up the morning after seeing The Dark Knight Rises. I intended to publish a couple of them, particularly a review of my thoughts on the movie and pictures of our night spent at a marathon of the Chris Nolan Batman trilogy. But first I checked Twitter and watched as news of the massacre that had happened while we were in the theater unfolded. I was completely gutted and, honestly, still am. This has hit me harder than I could have imagined, but I don't know that two weeks ago I could have imagined something like this happening at all.

The movie theater is a sacred place to me. My church. The importance of sharing the visual, emotional, artistic and ultimately human experience of watching a movie in a darkened theater with strangers was the basis of my thesis. I help bring people together in the movie theater for a living. Look, I know watching Batman at the IMAX isn't exactly the height of culture, but there is something to be said for excited fans coming together at midnight to share a highly anticipated experience. That's culturally significant and it should be able to happen in a safe place. I have no idea what to say that would even come close to being adequate, I just need to say how heartbroken I am that that experience was so horribly destroyed for the people in Aurora. I am so angry that someone would take advantage of the happy distraction of a movie to fulfill a sick, twisted fantasy to such tragic ends. I am so sad for the people who have to live with this forever, and for the people who didn't get to wake up the next morning.

Someone who was very important in my life moved to Aurora when we were 12. I went to visit and stay with her many times over the years, the latest for Christmas 2010, when we went to that very movie theater on Christmas Day. We haven't spoken in a year, and I have no idea how or if this affected her, but the memory of that day has been heavy on my mind. It impresses on me the fact that we are never very far removed from an atrocity like this. Whether it's us, or our friends, or just fellow humans, this hurts all of us. I don't know what else to say.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

discoveries in the ER

In the hospital I made jokes that B had just rocked too hard, but he was getting blood drawn and did not find it funny. Then, the most awesome thing happened. The grating 2012 Teen Nick shows ended (it was so late at this point and we were so tired and hungry) and Nick at Nite came on. Now, when I was a kid, Nick at Nite was I Love Lucy, Bewitched and Dick Van Dyke. At some point Mary Tyler Moore, Lavern and Shirley and Welcome Back Kotter joined the mix, but still -- shows from a very different time. So it completely blew my mind when my favorite 90s Snick shows came on! It was a sketch with Keenan and Kel, in which Kel was an old man that kept falling out of a tree, that got B laughing hysterically. For the next half hour of the show he belly laughed and, for whatever reason, that made me feel so happy and satisfied. Maybe because I miss the "old days" and I'm often exhausted by the online world my son is growing up in. Sometimes I feel sad for him that all of the bad things in the world are right at his fingertips. Childhood is harder to hold on to now, and of course when he's sick all of this comes out and makes me a hypersentimental, sappy mom. Anyway, I laughed too and it was an awesome.

Friday, July 13, 2012


We had a rough week. B started ROCK CAMP (woohoo!) on Monday, but called me halfway through the day to come get him because he wasn't feeling good (boooooo). A trip to the doctor revealed strep throat, an ear infection and something possibly seriously wrong with his kidneys. I was in shock! He seemed fine -- maybe a little grumpy -- that morning. The doctor sent us to Children's Hospital where we spent 6 hours and B was pricked, poked and sampled. After all of that, we left with an answer that I'm still not satisfied with: the infection in his throat, ears and sinuses spread to his kidneys... nothing a little antibiotic couldn't cure. The rest of the week was an endless cycle of tending to a miserable, nearly comatose kid, fighting off scary high fevers and trying to make up all the hours of work I missed. Oh, and not sleeping. By yesterday I was miserably failing at all of those things -- sending out nonsensical work emails, forgetting to make dinner and wistfully day dreaming of the life I left behind in NYC -- so I finally closed my computer and surrendered for a few hours. My friend Sabrina came over and we went for a late night swim, then stretched our legs and did some barre exercises in my loft. After she left I let myself sleep for the few precious hours that B's fever would let me. He's doing a bit better today. No fever and we left the house for an hour or so. Progress! Now I'm going to enjoy my glorious little weekend.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The greatest day of his life.

June 15, 2012 - Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra playing the Star Wars Score in the park.

Complete with lazer light show and fireworks.
"THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE. THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!" - 10 year old B, jumping up and down, conducting and punching/ninja kicking the air to the music